Leaning into Curiosity is Cool!
August 6 2026
Hiiiii! I'm really excited to start blogging again. But less stress this time. A lot less stress
A few months ago, I was tapped in not 1 but 2 discord servers I'm in to play the critically acclaimed MMORPG, Final Fantasy XIV. I have a really terrible history with that game. So many bad memories of people I do not fuck with anymore. FFXIV was a game that I urged all of my friends to play so we could have an online space to hang out in. Another thing to do together and appreciate each other's company. But it turned into a weapon of abuse and manipulation. I swore that I wouldn't touch this game again. But here I am, 6 years later, back in Eorzea.
This all started when a friend of mine, Ben, asked in Dadcord (yes, this is our nickname for the discord server) if people played FFXIV. I was curious to try again. I've been rewriting half a decade of memories — why not another one? He invited me to a small server with a bunch of other queer and trans folk. And thus, my journey in Eorzea began anew
Tessie was more than willing to hop into a call with me and teach me the ropes. She helped me grab a free Fantasia potion to change my character from a Male Hyur to a Female Viera. She then walked me through some of the controls and jump-started me back to where I was in the Main Story (Stormblood). Of course, I'm a yapper, and was more interested in her story than I was learning to play. The more she told me about her history, in and out of the game, the more amazed I was. Sometimes I forget about how cool people can be, and how everyone has their own story that's still being written! I think the day of her telling me how she moved from Brooklyn to Denmark with her now wife, Spero, and how the Danes LOVE raspberry is one of my fondest memories to date.
Tessie isn't the only one who's been willing to hold my hand and guide me through undoing the damage the last group of people I played this game caused. Spero, Danny, Kaitlin, Ben, Jack, Neesee have all been incredibly kind and sweet. Every one of them have humored me in running through older content, watching me gasp and scream at cutscenes, and teach me everything there is to know about this game and the culture surrounding it. It's hard to put into words how much this little space means to me and how large of an impact these people have made in my life in just a few months. I look forward to our Sunday mornings every week. These people came into my life at the right time. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.
You can follow along with my journey in my new FFXIV Gallery Page! I'll be posting screenshots in there frequently with whatever I'm doing in game. I'll try to avoid uploading spoilers, as the gallery template I'm using doesn't have a content warnings setting.
I've also been playing Slay the Spire 2 with a few groups of people. Shoutouts to Nord and 67Ghosted in Dadcord for always pinging me to play. Truly a pleasure learning from both of them and hanging out every week. My fiance has also started playing the game! We've been playing with my best friend, Pizza, every so often. We won a run a few days ago and holy shit were the both of them completely busted. You should read his blog here.
Everything is going pretty cool right now! I want to continue to push myself out of my comfort zone, talk to more people, and learn more things. I get very lonely at times. And it's all of these folks that really lift me up and push me to be better. So thank you! Love you all!
Currently playing:
Final Fantasy XIV (Shadowbringers), Slay the Spire 2
Currently watching:
Support the Girls (2018) - Really fun movie. Very lighthearted approach to some interesting and dark topics. I relate to Lisa. Always worried about everyone else and trying to help people, and being upset when they refuse to help themselves. - Recommended by Pizza Pachulia
Whisper of the Heart (1995) - Shocked that no one talks about this movie! It's really great! Another push to get me to start creating again. COUNTRY ROADS! TAKE ME HOME! - Recommended by Mo
